"In the same way you like to watch puppies play..."

... my predictions for American Idol's next four rejects.

Las Mujeres:
Goodbye Kinnik- Seriously, next time, you need a better name to carry you through. And less lips.
Adios Melissa- You sing, look and present yourself like a dude... and this week, you screamed your way through a killer 80's song... SHAME on you. You didn't bring it. You left it at home.

Los Hombres:
Ahh Will- You're adorable. Like a Brady from the "Brady Bunch." But for butchering a James Taylor classic, you, sir, must leave us. Ciao baby.
Kevin- A sex symbol you are not, but let's face it dude... you only lasted this long because your cheeks are squeezable and ignite the "Awww" factor. Trust me, I know about squeezable cheeks.

And Ace, you are so hot it doesn't matter to me WHAT you sing. Just show me your beautiful face, and I will forever fall in love. But in all seriousness (because American Idol is tres serious), that performance was white hot. WHITE HOT. How sexy were you, my love... ahhh yes. Second only to your first performance of "Father Figure." Yummy.

(The author would like to apologize for the lack of more thought provoking and interesting posts... but I truly cannot rise above social commentary as my brain cells are on reserve for cover letter writing and resume perfecting. Sorry.)