Perspective: (World Trade Center, the movie)

I just got back from seeing a free advanced screening of the movie, "World Trade Center." I wanted to see the movie, and I didn't want to see the movie- for reasons I don't think really need explaining. Simply put- was I ready to watch that day unfold, again, on a big screen?

Turns out, no- I wasn't ready. No one in that theater was... because how does one get ready for devastation like that? Sadly, then, my biggest motivation was that the tickets were free and so I figured, "Why not?" And just like that, I was off to a movie with CJ.

I have to say that I think the movie was beautiful, heartbreaking and achingly overwhelming. It would be impossible for it not to be- don't you think? I was worried that there'd be a political message; an anti-war/pro-war sentiment. I was worried that the clips of Bush would be mocked by the film or worse- that they'd be praised. I was worried it would exploit the whole attack. But none of this happened... or if it did, I certainly didn't notice it.

Instead, I was so sucked into this story- Sucked into the story of these two men that were 2 of the 20 people that were pulled, ALIVE, from the rubble... numbers 18 & 19. From the moment the shadow of the plane flying into the first tower flashed on screen, I cried... and I kept crying the entire length of the movie. I don't say that to discourage people from seeing the movie- I say it because I wanted to convey just how deeply it touched me.

There were only two questionable parts in the movie that I disliked:
1. Maria Bello's "Donna" had on v. fake blue contacts that really irritated me... did they have to look so fake? Someone promise me that was intentional because it was v. distracting.
2. A Jesus montage... I disliked its hokey-ness v. much the instant I saw it... but luckily, the kitchyness was addressed later thereby redeeming itself.

I haven't read a review and I don't know what the critics are saying about this movie- but I really, really, REALLY needed to see something like this at this point in my life. It obviously puts everything properly in perspective, and perspective is something I certainly needed right now.

I worried about not having a job, and now that I have a job... I worry about not finding the perfect apartment, about my application for the apartment I like going through, about Ebbitt's eventual death, about the length of my hair (is it too long? it's all I have!), about where I'm going to park my car, about how I'll get to work (which route to take?), about which grad school program is right for me, about whether or not to get movers, about STILL not having access to my summer wardrobe... and so on, and so forth.

And now I can see that it'll all work out- because it always does. Because there is so much out there that is bigger and badder and sadder and meaner than anything my mind can conjure up. Because I'll be able to pay my rent and stay fed and still have fun with friends. I might not own my own house now- or be able to go out and "buy something expensive" when I'm feeling defeated- but I'll be just fine. I'm MJ- and I've survived much worse. And there are so many awful things out there happening to so many good, hardworking, and loving people that all I can do is my best to live MY life (with MY salary and MY abilities) the best I can.

(Yes- I'm a little fired up.)

I'm getting all "Dear Diary" on y'all and I apologize for that... but I just feel so much crazy emotion about this movie that I wanted to write it down and save it so I can always remember how I felt. Which is the purpose of a blog anyway... right?

It's liberating, really, to know that I don't have to take myself so seriously... and to relish the fact that I'm-doing-just-fine-thank-you. I'm terribly lucky and fortunate, I'm loved and appreciated, and I'm happy. With a cute shih-tzu. Named Ebbitt. Is there really anything else?