I wonder where they bought that?

I swear, I've got to stop daydreaming. But I so totally can't help myself. Blame it on my self-diagnosed AdultADD or a general penchant for ditsyness, but I can't stop.

Lately, my daydreams involve figuring out where people have purchased certain items they wear:

Where did they buy said item? What made them think it might be a good idea to purchase the item in question? Was it a gift? If so, did they feel obligated to wear it in case they have a run-in with said gift-giver? Were they excited to wear said item? Were they PROUD to wear it? Could the sense the hint of irony it bestowed upon them?

Case-in-point: Today, at a lunch meeting at a restaurant in Chesterfield County, VA, I noticed the saddest looking family ever. There is not enough time in the world to list all the reasons why they were sad, but suffice to say that they were everything I hope and pray I won't become.

Anyway-- mom had on this disgusting tablecloth printed dress (red, black, pink and orange) with ROYAL BLUE LEG WARMERS and white reeboks. I mean, what? It was like a pseudo-homeless-chic outfit only quite by accident and with a splash of rednecked naivete. I mean, I was dumbfounded. (She also had a scrunchie, and I know I need not explain why that was a poor fashion selection.) To top it all off, she wore a farm animal necklace. And yes, I wish I was kidding but NO, I am not.

So, here I am, thinking, "Did her kids buy her this necklace? It couldn't have been her daughter because she seemed to have an inkling of a clue (based on her trendy and properly fitting outfit), so it must of been her son. But that doesn't seem right, because he spent the majority of the meal hurling french fries down his mom's cleavage (which yes, i have some experience with thanks to Crickie and the straw wrappers he rolls up and assaults my bosoms with) and then smacking his lips when victory was his. Perhaps he bought the necklace for Christmas because he was obligated to, and figured if he had to get his mom something, it should at least be something vile and disgusting..." From there, I pictured the lad in a cheesy shopping mall selecting the gift for his mom, and before I knew it, I wasted 15 good solid minutes of drinking and re-ordering diet cokes. I mean... all in the name of what? Wasting time? Bah.

In conclusion, this is not the first time I've had such a inner conversation with myself. I wish it was the last, but I highly doubt it is. So I'd simply like to put it out there, to see if others invent stories like this for people they see but do not know. I am hoping there are some of you out there.

So there, I got my rant out. I'm going to do more work now, but wanted to share with y'all because sharing is caring.