Sex and the City (suburbs?)

I know it's become terribly cliched to consistently refer to "Sex and the City" (SATC) as "completely and totally relevant to my life"... or for women to sit around and decide "I'm a Miranda/Samantha/Charlotte/Carrie"-- but the thing is, like most cliches, they wouldn't exist if there wasn't a heck of a lot of truth within it. I'm noticing that lately, as I rewatch the DVDs (yes- I own each and every season on DVD), they are becoming more and more relevant to my life. And thus, I find myself relating personal experiences to situations on the show... Please withhold judgment.

Anyway... I am sitting here at Panera Bread-- a wonderful location to grab coffee, some nosh, read the paper, and use the internet (for FREE)... Especially when one is so unbelievably lonely. Here, at Panera, I can pretend that the fellow customers are my friends. Woe is Molly.

Ok, so I'm sitting here and thinking to myself that I am just so lonely and how badly I wish I had a friend or two to hang out with today. I know I have work to do, and I'ma do it, but just knowing you have friends around makes the situation a whole lot easier. I don't know why, it just does. And then, I remembered an episode of SATC when Carrie has her book party. Season 5, I believe.

She's preggers and in an adorable Chanel (I think) babydoll dress... her hair is shorter and sassy and she's alone. No Aiden, no Big, no one. She's just about to begin a relationship with Berger (only for him to break up with her... WITH A POST-IT!) and while she's thrilled about her career and they way things are going for her professionally-- she's wondering why with all this success, why one is still such a lonely number... She turns to Charlotte and says, "The loneliness... it's palpable." And for some reason, that line- that feeling and emotion it conveyed... it's stayed with me and seemed so relevant then and it is so relevant now.

The loneliness here in Richmond IS palpable... and I wish it wasn't because professionally I am THRILLED with where I am in my career and what I'm doing. I just wish I didn't have to feel so sad about it when I have some down time... because (attention, female rant gathering form) if I was male, I don't think that the feeling would be so prominently forced upon me in everyday life... Now this is not to say that men don't get lonely. I promise.

Let me explain: For a male to be driven and career focused is perfectly acceptable. They are MEN! They provide for their FAMILIES! They need to bring home the BACON/TOFU and be a role model for their SONS and daughters! So, to be single and successful professionally is 150% ok. For women- not so much. If they are single and career driven, then they must be "nice girls" that are men-hating feminists, girls that work hard because no man ever payed them any attention so "what else are they going to do???!?!?" And I have ALWAYS revolted against such assumptions- I went to an all-girls school afterall- but never did I feel so much like these assumptions/limitations still have yet to change in our modern age.

I mean, here we are-- working, teaching, living, breathing. Contributing to our communities, neighborhoods and families-- and yet the single ones are still pitied. I hate it, and hate seeing it happen... Especially to me.

If I have to explain to one more person why, at 25, I have no boyfriend or plans to "settle down" anytime soon, I'm going to scream... If I have to explain that the only appealing part of marriage (to me) is the wedding and NOT the marriage, I'll kill someone. Can't I just be single and happy? Can people just let me/women be?

Wow... I don't even know what my point was in that... I guess that SATC truly should be lauded as an excellent commentary on singledom that it truly is.

Ahh yes-- I still've got it. I'm still full of ranting and raving. Phew- I was afraid I had left that bit o' me in DC...

Which reminds me, I HATE the suburbs.