gratuitous gratuity

So, as many of you know, we (Charlotte, Lucy, and I) had our First Annual Chrismukkah Party this year on a blistery winter day (December 7th, y'all). It was v. eagerly anticipated (I'm told) because it was the first party of the year for many- and at this point, no one was had reached their fill of holiday cheer.

And it was quite the little fiesta. No joke. I saw lots of friends from all areas of my life (high school, GW, work, campaigns, bloggers, previous jobs) and met even more. I won't bore you with any more details, but I did want to draw your attention to the receipt (see below). Yes, THE RECEIPT. The receipt that gave me nightmares and caused many a sleepless night for Charlotte, Lucy, and me.

You see, we had an idea of what this shindig would cost us, and believe me- $472 bones was NOT it. We decided to put the cost on one credit card and then figure out how much each person owed the next day. Which was a great idea, in theory, except that when I gave MY credit card (which I gladly offered), I failed to remember that I would likely be tres drunk at the end of the night, and therefore ill equipped to decipher a bill. Details- or so I thought.

All I remember is at the end of the night, we were all so happy and so pleased that everyone had so much fun... and then I got the bill, was appalled and shoved it in Lucy's face screaming, "Seriously?!?! Seriously?!?!" all the while laughing and falling off my chair. I quickly calculated an appropriate tip, again thrusted it in Lucy's face screaming "Is this enough??!?? Is this enough?!?!" and then booked it outta there.

(I then proceeded to attempt to walk home b/c I had no money, and wouldn't until midnight (when I got paid)... Literally- I tried to get money out, and the ATM screamed "insufficient funds" at me, so I tried to coax Lucy to wait until midnight when I'd surely have the deposit available. Lucky for me, Lucy threw me a $20 and made me cab it home. But really- that's another story for another time).

It took us three a good many days to pull out the receipt and figure out the damage done. When we did, I realized that I had tipped our waitress (who was a v. v. bad waitress, by the way) $80 MORE than the already included gratuity. What an asshole I am! It still didn't knock the price down much, but holy eff- I wish I could get my money back. (Don't worry- I would never try.)

So that's the story of the gratuitous gratuity. May I NEVER be this gratuitous again.

THE END.