Thursday, June 30, 2005

Nicole Richie


She's a total crack head, but all things aside... do y'all think I could rock her bob?

Nah, I didn't think so. I was just reminiscing about my chopped hair Senior Year of GeeDub.

What about that chick on the tv show "Blow Out" where I CLEARLY am the only one that watches... YEAH! Kimberly... she's the one. She's Mexican, I believe, so I feel like we're tiiiight, yo.

Now, what do you think?

Tuesday, June 28, 2005

SudAmerica Rox

Stephanox (1:13:27 PM): you're south american. how cool.

Chilean P (1:13:56 PM): i know, right?
Chilean P (1:13:58 PM): hahah

Stephanox (1:14:12 PM): being european is soooo yesterday.

Chilean P (1:20:45 PM): i know
Chilean P (1:20:51 PM): south america is the new europe

Stephanox (1:21:14 PM): you even have gypsies there. totally europe 20.
Stephanox (1:21:16 PM): 2.0.
Stephanox (1:21:38 PM): or europe 20. whichevs.

Chilean P (1:22:31 PM): totally

Monday, June 27, 2005

"Gmail is the new black."

Darling david emailed me that today, and for whatever reason, I laughed until I cried.

Just wanted to share it with y'all.

Saturday, June 25, 2005

The Fall Down Kid...

...I am, I am.

I have tripped and fallen down many a time in my life: freshman year lecture hall (sooo cool), various steps around DC, Brass Monkey, Madam's Organ, the Spanish Steps in Rome (not v. European of me), Mister Days (when it was on 9th Street and not NOVA), Third Edition, Cactus Cantina (oh! how I want some nachos), Froggy Bottom (holla), Ozio (my personal favorite as people just don't TRIP there), etc. etc. And yet, through all of my major wipe-outs, I've still managed to keep it together because that's just what I do: I trip. It's like, my thing.

However, in Richmond, it's a whole other story. I have had 3 major instances of "biting it" that have severely limited my ability to like this city... fair or unfair, that's just the way it is. You may have noticed my penchant for blaming entire cities for things its inhabitants do. Anyway... without further ado, here are the "tripping tales"... in order of occurrence:

1. Ukrop's (the devil's playground): Ukrop's is a grocery... It's Richmond's "nice" grocery... like Baltimore's Eddies, Dayton's Dorothy Lane and DC's... um... well, DC doesn't have any decent groceries. But you get the picture. Anyway, yours truly fell down while carrying a glorious plate full of sushi to the checkout counter. Totally fell, busted my knee and ego and cried my way out of there never to return again. That's how I busted my left knee.

2. Walking Ebbitt #1: Ebbitt and I were talking our afternoon hike and no, Tim, I was not on the phone... but BOOM. I fell. Just like that. Ebbitt, undeterred, kept on walking with his leash dragging behind. I twisted my left ankle and scraped the hell out of my right knee. I was crying and a bloody mess. But, fear not, for I continued on to finish the walk- wound and all.

3. Walking Ebbitt #2: I finally located the laundry facility in this piece, and was carrying one of six loads to wash. I had my detergent, quarters, clothes and dryer sheets PLUS Ebbitt, his leash, and my keys... and SPLAT: I re-twisted my left ankle and managed to scrape my right knee NEXT to where the previous week's scrape was. I wanted to scream, yell, and dig a hole a die. But instead, I had to get up, hobble after an undeterred Ebbitt, yet again, and pick up the scraps of my dignity/laundry that was all over the parking lot. Such a metaphor for life.

4. Walking Ebbitt #3: I was carrying Ebbitt upstairs after our midnight walk, and I tripped, fell head first into a doorway, knocked my head, potentially knocked Ebbitt's head (he's fine, no worries), scraped my scab RIGHT OFF, and felt, for the first time, scared that I would never be able to walk again for fear of tripping 8 out of 10 times. Also, my initial fear was that I killed Ebbitt, but he's a trooper, and won't let me pick him up no mo'.

So there you have it. I seem to be healing, though a cut on your knee is impossible to grow a scab on, and I look at the constant falling as a huge manifestation of my troubles here in Richmond. And now that things have (hopefully) changed... I'm hoping I can keep my feet planted firmly on the ground. Hopefully.

love you all,
~mj

P.S. Once I fix my digital camera, I'm totally gonna take a picture of my wounded knee so y'all can take a look. It ain't perty.

Friday, June 24, 2005

"W" is for Women... and JW

(don't kill me, Miss JW, for the GDub reference... but I couldn't help it)

I just wanted to send a Nationwide shout out to my good friend, JW, who played a critical part in ensuring women in the state of New York have easier access to emergency contraception pills that will cut down, tremendously, the incidences of unintended pregnancies and abortion.

Kinda makes me want to move to NY. Kinda.

You may read about her exploits here and here too!

I'm so dern proud of her... RMC is really going to feel a void when she's gone.

Sunday, June 19, 2005

Yes, I changed my voicemail message

Who knew so many of you actually listened to it? That's wild...

Anyway, yes I did change it because as you may or may not have realized, I'm not so slick at "the return call"... and it's nothing personal, I just hate the phone and hate being so easily reached. It feels invasive. So, I'm a master screener and a forever procrastinator. I don't think that'll EVER change, unfortunately. Please- hold back the tears.

Monday, June 13, 2005

Because we're Jackson-kin...

I'm not even going to PRETEND I wrote this... but it's too good to pass up... so enjoy these headlines, courtesy of GAWKER:

Lock Up Your Children: Michael Jackson Innocent. LetÂ’s help out all the headline writers, shall we?

· BEAT IT: JACKO NOT GUILTY
· PRINCE OF POP CONTINUES HIS REIGN
· BILLIE JEAN NOT HIS LOVER: INNOCENT!
· JACKO MAY BE WHACKO, BUT STILL NOT GUILTY
· JACKSON WALKS IN COURTROOM THRILLER
· MOONWALKING A FREE MAN
· MJ AND OJ: TOGETHER AT LAST
· JACKSON GETS OFF — AGAIN!
· JACKSON FREE TO ADDRESS TROUBLING BACK PAIN
· SMOOTH — BUT NO CRIMINAL
· GOING HOME TO BUBBLES: JACKSON WALKS FREE

Tuesday, June 07, 2005

Around the World in 90 Days

You know why life is good? Life is good because there are so many places to explore in this world... we are never stuck in one place... Ever. Am I am so glad that I have not been limited to a small circumference while at the same time, allowing myself so much more to explore. That's a delicious feeling.

And I know I am the last person to preach this laissez-faire attitude, especially with the delightful time I'm having in Richmond, but I just got a phone call today from a friend of mine who took off: left work/life/friends/responsibility behind and hit the road in Europe... followed closely by the Greek Islands, a jaunt in Asia and rounded up with a fiesta en Mexico. I mean- yeah, sounds like my summer vay-cay only I found time to squeeze in some African safari because a girl has to get in tune with nature, you know?

Anyway... he was in Paris. Eating meat. On the Champs Elysées.
I was in Richmond. Eating edamame and radishes (not gross!). In my living room.
The differences were striking.

This will end in November, and then ya'll will have to catch me, if you can.

****The inspiration came from here, should you be interested****

P.S. I'm watching "Queer Eye for the Straight Guy: Red Sox" and it's glorious. Rather, Damon is glorious.

P.P.S. Crickie Thomas, you look EXACTLY like Kevin Millar. Especially when he's dirrrrrty looking. I don't know why I didn't realize that until now... derrrr

Thursday, June 02, 2005

"Hearts"

I received this email from one of my bestest friends in the whole world, whom shall remain nameless. That is because this person might not want the world to know of their Chipotle-induced diarrhea.

********************************
i <3:
advil
light colored slightly carbonated drinks
ice cold water
all things that help my stomach feel better
obviously i had to go onto wedmd.com...which i also <3 because i can be my own doctor, and have diagnosted myself with diahrea (which i pretty much already knew) and i think that chipotle for lunch was not a great plan...so i shall eat boring foods until i feel better. if i do not feel better in 1-2 weeks we will have to see the doc again - WOW! i'm not ok...

i should (a) live in the hospital or (b) marry a doctor. that's it for now...back to interim financial statement fluctuations...yippie.

(by the way this "<3" is a heart.)
********************************

Genius, right? I needed to share. It couldn't be stopped.

Four things I'd like to share:
1. Richmond has drive through Greek food at the Richmond Greek Festival. I shall find the person that invented this and kiss them.
2. I found a gray hair in a place far, far away on my head from where I found my only OTHER gray hair... this distresses me.
3. I drank an entire bottle of Chianti in less than an hour. For a good time, call Molly.
4. Ebbitt has spent the greater part of the seventh post-meridian hour today humping my stuffed animal. Delightful to watch, when one consumes an entire bottle of wine in less than an hour.

Wednesday, June 01, 2005

Vroom-Vroom

Has anyone heard of that thing where you can fly to Germany, drive a car to some other place in Europe and if you do, you get the car for free, or for a whole lot cheaper??? I know it's something real, and I feel like it is with Audi or Saab or something. Am I nuts? Not "generally" nuts, but nuts for thinking this is real?

I know someone out there knows what I am talking about. Ayudame.

Pot. Kettle. Black.

Ya'll... I'm sorry. I know I should write more, and keep up with the posts, but this "campaign managing" stuff- it really takes it all out of a girl. So I'm sorry, but there's likely to be more where that came from.

I'm going to attempt to be organized about this post, and break my thoughts/comments into columns so that the reader (that's ya'll) can select those posts that he/she prefers to read about.

A. Boys
I think I pretty much don't want anything to do with any of them. Ever. Again. With a precious few exceptions (Crick & Abs, enjoy your shout out), it's just too hard to figure out the what and why. What is it they want? What makes them do the things they do? Why can't they understand? Why would they risk something so hard to find, for something so meaningless?

I don't want to harp, or even upgrade my ticket on the "Why Me?" express-train to Whiningville, but I need to get this out. I need to tell people, women specifically, that if it feels wrong, it IS wrong. If you feel uncomfortable, it IS uncomfortable. And finally, if the pot looks black, then it is black. There is no use in trying to change it. Further, sticking around only makes the kettle just as black.

Does that make sense to you, because it does to me.

There, I'm finished.

B. Friends
Ya'll are fantastic, and I thank you for loving me, and for dealing with my sorry-non-cell-phone-picking-up-moody-spoiled-emotional ass. I can be a real treat sometimes, and yet here you still remain. Thank you, for sticking by me. When I make millions off my first book, I'll repay you all with cash-prizes.

Joking aside, if moving to Richmond has taught me anything, it's the value of true friendship. So muchas gracias, merci, and grazie... from the bottom of mi corazon.

C. Cities
The ones I like: San Francisco, Baltimore, DC, New York, Chicago and San Diego (minus the Plastics)
The ones I don't like: Pittsburgh, Richmond and Pittsburgh (because it's THAT loathsome)

The reason I bring this up is because I am currently working on not biasing people based on their place of birth. In other words, not rolling my eyes and saying, "Ah, ok... you're loathsome because you're from [insert city/state/region here]."

D. Diet Coke
The new Diet Coke with Splenda kicks ass. So does the new commercial: Sparkle **** (those are my sparkles)

That's all for now kiddies. I must get back to work. Merry June, and I'll talk to ya'll soon.

(I apologize for the excessive use of the words "ya'll" and "loathsome" but I'm finding them to be particularly relevant tonight)